Take....these broken wings...

I was given the chance to shine like a Christmas bulb on the blitz tonight and I blew it. I attempted with my pal Tim - unsuccessfully I would add - to down a dozen wings in half as many minutes when doused in crazy hot sauce. Not a problem, I thought. Hot is relative, and it's simply a situation of mind over matter.

Not so.

I gave up about halfway through. I believe this shows some signs of character though, as I seem to know my true physical limits (or what the waitress labeled as "Gross").

Either way I don't hate life and I can accurately describe what defeat tastes like -- mainly because I didn't incinerate my tastebuds like the idiot I hoped I'd been.

...meanwhile I've rubbed my eyes I don't know how many times and wished I hadn't.

As always, T, thanks for the laughs and the company. 'Night, all.

Are you still listening? Good.

Gather around gang, I've a story to tell.

I'm happy to report the weather is still frightfully pleasant in Minnesota, and the company is even better. My morning and afternoon bookended by Beatles remasters (with the unfortunate catch of them all hailing from the heartthrob/cover song days), I worked a full 8 with a little disappointment in the middle: I'm trying to orchestrate an excuse to celebrate my birthday, but all justifications are flaking in ways I wasn't prepared for. And endurance is an overwhelming nine-letter word.

Nonetheless, I met a cool 'dad-like' figure after work who shared my musical interests. Being me though, I hesitated on really chatting it up and missed out on knowing a dude who just might've invited me over for a cigar, some kickass surround sound sessions and an educational history of concert-going experiences in the 70's. I digress.

Followed up and closed out by dinner with the other end of the spectrum. I'm debating new grounds for a day-o-birth get-together and planning Mini Western Marathons.

I'd also like to give a shout-out to U2 for recording the song "Numb".

Good Night.

Fin

...back home. Yet again a softer, sleepier Matt. And not to get all into it, but it really is unsettling to have a quiet evening alone after all that. Moving on.

Thanks again for coming - I'll be here all night.

Under Cardiac Arrest in an Airport

Stranded for the moment at St Louis Int'l...I'm giving my body the only exercise I can find between flights. I misordered a sandwich that packed way too much cholesterol and now it feels like my chest is slowly caving in. Sure, I could have just 'not eaten it' but I wasn't brought up to waste food (plus, bacon is bacon is bacon, people).

In stark contrast to my last trip involving airports, I haven't seen one copy of the Twilight series in a person's hand (wherein previously one out of every three persons I encountered was nose-deep in any given title). I am hoping this means they've settled into their rightful place betwixt lockers and the clearance aisles of used book stores.*

I don't know why I never noticed how much large airports resemble little cities...and why it didn't occur to me until I encountered the red light district. Sitting at my gate I noticed someone had deserted their area without cleaning up. A second look revealed the mess consisted of scattered order cards and the hastily opened plastic wrap of an Adult Magazine. Both funny and unsettling, I chalked it up to mean joke or disturbing addiction. You forget sometimes that some folks just don't care for courtesy or discretion.

Finally, it impresses me how I've inexplicably managed to land a view that mimics John Lithgow's from The Twilight Zone Movie on every flight.


*full disclosure: I've read the first book and a portion of the second (some on that very same trip). In all honesty the books aren't terrible - but the level of fame they've garnered kinda is.

Again, and again. And again.

The second the airport doors closed behind me my heart sank a little. I could see my brother getting into his car, checking on his son, still asleep in the back seat.

We'd had a fairly solid 'goodbye' but the realities of distance and time swiftly kicked in. I'm leaving and it sucks.

It was a hell of a time, though - a beautiful place to vacation to regardless and now there's plenty of fresh memories to digest...

It's just that even with plenty of time to prepare, it really is damned difficult to head home when a good chunk of what you define that as is being left behind.

I'm not too sure why I needed to share this.

>insert Young Jeezy HEYYYY here<

Here I sit, my last evening in the NC rocking a Crayola marker as I itemize CDs full of music which very likely never did nor will dry hump the title of VMA...this as I simultaneously/warily experience the latest iteration of that very same event.

What an exhausted celebration it's become, eh? It's saying something crucial when I must begrudgingly (really, almost violently) award Lady Gaga the Most Amusing Thing of the Event. And believe me when I say that I really, really don't want to do that.

...but isn't it hypocritical to gripe at all? Didn't my generation virtually invent that damned show and what it signifies? I can't legitimately argue whether or not fIREHOSE pined for a spray-painted icon of our nation's achievements in aviation any less than Milli or Vanilli - and can anyone coolly justify the overjoyed acceptance of long-ago winner (and arguably original champion of the genre 'Alternative') from a decade-and-some-change-ago with their 'homage' to recorded visual media - "Tonight, Tonight"? Likely not.

No, I can't argue this. And so I can't truly rail against what I'm seeing - even if it is by and large tired celebrity lazily generating faux excitement/edge to the Next Generation of Fame. Because, really, I was once a part of that cycle - and God help me - I loved the hell out of it.
Even still, I'll quietly burn my discs in the hopes of perpetuating True Variety in defiance of the Modern Mainstream.

I'll just remind myself that the Allman Brothers weren't all about the fame and Gene McDaniels would never shoot a video in black and white just to score some tail.


Seacrest out.

Sandy...Duncan (I've got nothing)

Last minute trip to the dunes, pretty impressive. But it is just a ton of sand. Their tour and info building largely (and wisely) focuses on other, more interesting things. Like deaths caused by lightning and the Civil War.

First in Flight

Just another day ruining memorials for tourists...

A man of my word

Based upon this week's previous rating of Ocracoke we're headed back. Perfect weather for it, too.

"I'm going to hang these Christmas lights if it KILLS me!"

...it was as though he fell off a ladder of drugs.

Barbamaque

Great view of the stars tonight...light pollution is low in these parts, and as such it is a particularly beautiful evening.

Listening to Neil Young the way it's meant to be (finally), and I'm hopped up on the junk that is Red Bull for the time being.

Fun portion of the afternoon: ransacking a Food Lion (google it) that's going out of business.

I'm getting eaten by mosquitos every half hour or so, but as I've mentioned before it's a rare situation for me so I'll endure. Still have to take a step back every once in a while to realize I'm hanging out here. Wish I had another week, really.

Mattaeo out.

I love the java jive and it loves me

Good coffee found at this establishment. Some thoughts:



I'm staying on the coast at the moment, just before hurricaine season in or next to a county named 'Dare'. Right on.



Unfotrunately the weather 'til today has been mostly overcast, and that includes the Labor Day holiday. Being located on the ocean, the vast majority of houses are grand buildings meant for vacation rentals. The moment the holiday ended beaches became deserted, local shoppes post shortened hours and the all-too-prevalent eyesores that are beachside-specialty-stores now advertise 50% off everything. I have no idea how a largely tourist town can survive during on off season that occupies most of the year.



There's a heavy irony* in that this town won't allow more corporate saturation by allowing stores like Target to build here, yet along major streets those specialty beach stores - called "Wings" (which I imagine is just as obnoxiously toxic as its television counterpart) - are found on nearly every other block. And they're HUGE. Why not knock down a few of those and rebuild a more neutral (and practical) department store?



Seafood is delicious.



Someone must put a stop to novelty eateries with innuendos for names. The most popular local restaraunt around here is a place called Dirty Dick's Crab Shack. Not too cringe-worthy, eh? Their billboards encourage you to "Get crabs from Dirty Dick's!" A joke is a joke, but that one's not only jaw-dropping, it loses any cleverness almost immediately. I can't imagine living near one without wanting to burn the place down every morning.



Out for now. My coffee, it is empty.

*I'm increasingly conscious that my understanding of irony is much closer to the 90's pop-song variety than that of Webster's. Additionally, I have an increasing desire for something akin to a Grammar Boot Camp. It may well become my next endeavor.

To those of you who might be questioning:

I have to figure there are those of you who have compared my previous trip with this and are thinking to yourselves, "Waitaminute, sir, but what's the holdup with the updates?"

I'll gladly tell you.

It is a surreal yet gratifying experience witnessing your little brother truly Living the Life.

Admittedly there is some jealousy that drips through when you see your kin raising and nurturing offspring successfully, but - and here's the secret - when you spend *just enough time* with that gift, you get the jist of what they go through for that very experience. It is admirable - easily more - but if I ever felt the need to justify my bachelorhood, well then - it's laid out for me, doiley and all. Raising a human requires an endurance I can only have night terrors about, and these past few days I've tried my damndest to immerse myself in (honestly) The Real Bliss that is Parenthood.

It is atonishing. Arbitrary endeavors truly fall by the wayside.

..I suppose what I'm trying to articulate in my asswards-back way is this: Three cheers to your mom and your dad. Because they had every reason not to raise your ass. And yet...

Obligatory celebration time

For what may be the first time in forever, I'm winning a string of games of pool!

I'd also like to take this time to say hello to my close personal friend Tim.

Fyi

You'll always know when you receive a gift wrapped by my hands.

Surprise parties...

...make for sacrifices. We're throwing a mini baby shower (well, 'we' in the loosest sense - my involvement consisted of hanging what you see here and being present) for the mum-to-be today.

Someone asked if this mix-up was a mistake in hanging it...can it be fixed?

Turns out that it can't. I want to buy another one just to see if the company needs to announce a recall.

I could use some boning up on my letter-writing skills anyway.

Sweet sassy molassey!

I just witnessed baby rage! And the reason I stay an uncle! Two year olds put the 'work' in "overworked and underappreciated".

Opportunistic delays

...we missed the ferry by literally a minute. Arriving there just as it was pulling away, we parked, dumped our shoes/sandals and walked to the shoreline amidst the rain and a muted sunset. Two drenched fellas holding umbrellas high for two dampened ladies. Us Shubitz' are gents, I'm telling ya.

Gorgeous out, the ocean is warm on my toes and legs. Hell yes folks.

Four if by ferry

This rainy afternoon the four of us kids tripped to Okracoke Island via this ferry you see here coming to dock. My first time on such a thing.



The experience? I'd give it a 6.



While it's great to have your ambient noise consist of seagulls and your view that of pelicans/buoys, it does kind of suck to have it marred by an engine rattle that erodes your ear's capacity for low tones, skies grayer than deathbed sheets and vomit-inducing smoke just over the frame.



But the rain (oh, the rain!): I've spent all season waiting for some good downpours back home with no luck (nothing to write...afar about, anyway). Once on the island, however, we drove through a heavy rain (still are in fact) like nature was daring the emergency sirens to wail. LOVED it.



...almost as much as my Alaskan snow crab legs! Split a pound with the brother while enjoying a local stout and making good conversation. Unfortunately we chose appetite over sightseeing and are hastily heading back to this same ferry to make it back before what's left of daylight fades.



Overall daytrip: 9.95 - Would patronize again.

Outta State Mozguito Bites

Once again, I've managed to evade mosquitos in Minnesota, and once again I'm hit by 'em while traveling out of state. I really don't have anything fresh to add to that fact, but there it is.

I did just pass a key location for the movie Nights in Rodanthe (sp?). You know. So I've got that going for me.

To those it may concern:

This is the view from the final resting place of the evening. Hard to tell, but it's the vantage point from the lifeguard's post at the ocean. If I had only one day to visit, this would have been it. Hands down.

That is, minus my run-in this morning...my 'Tussle with Russel' as it were. Brother and I were en route to purchase groceries when we decided to detour for some tools at the Home Depot. Once we found our aisle, we began meandering for the particular tool. An employee asked to help - an old, slightly griseled man. I told him what I needed, he said he didn't think they carried it. I said, "Well that's unfortunate."

At this point, most folks would part their seperate ways and call it a day. Not old Russ. His response was more like "What did you say?" (actually, it was exactly like that). I repeated myself - to his face to be clear, and said thanks anyway. No more than five seconds later Creepy Mr. Russel was half an aisle away helping Soccer Mom find the best bit for her drill. Go figure.

Moral of the story: do not neglect your mom and pop shops.

Short story for the rest of the day: lots 'o shrimp, a decent amount of Uncle-ing, chimnayas, air hockey coffee tables, legit dart boards, Dora and her Troll, reminiscing, walks and beach views via the seat pictured. Like I say, this was the day to beat. 'Night.

Naptime, kids.

...and I'm spent. I get Dr. J's room because folks here are real thoughtful.

I still can't believe I'm here. More on that later.

Goodnight.

Touchdown!

Let the Shuby Brothers Reunion Tour commence!

Flight Safety Instructions, Part 3

"...and finally we'd like to remind you: don't be a dick to your fellow passengers."

"Like a car from the future that takes you back to the past."

I'm sure it's not clear, but the St Louis airport allows one to step 'Back in time': A time of crude and elementary web interface. A time when floppy disks ruled the land.

Flight Safety Instructions, Part 2

"In the unlikely event of a water landing, the youngest infant aboard will be fitted in flotation gear and tethered out to sea as a homing beacon."

Flight Safety Instructions, Part 1

"As always, American Airlines asks those capable to refrain from use of all super powers for the duration of your flight, for the comfort and safety of our mortal passengers."

A bobsled with exit rows

Man - this is fixing to be a breeze of a trip! Though it's a sausage tube of an aircraft, I have more room surrounding me than I know what to do with. Maybe I'll play 'Ghosts of Flights Past' - you know, that game where you guess all the previous passengers' causes of death?

You played that with your family too, right?

No, I meant 'bombed' in the inebriant sense, officer.

Just dropped off @ the airport, I woke up way too early and much too awake. Thanks to The Happy Couple for the monkeyshines last night, however I'm pretty damned tired now. Good thing the next five hours only require me to sit.

Whining aside, the rest of my morning/afternoon can only be descibed as pleasant. Gorgeous weather, an introduction to a new (and particularly delicious) pizza joint, playing with my goddaughter (first steps, no less!) and good company with my oldest brother.

Even check in here was a breeze - so much so that I will say it's the best experience I've ever had doing such a thing. Kudos, Saturday afternoon check-in folks!

...and scene.

I've returned a little softer and a little tanner. And my car now smells like a sock.

Just got back with everything in tact and very few stops. Quite a breeze of a drive, really. I almost stopped at this fossil museum in the middle of ND but the thought of arriving in town later than this wasn't too appetizing. I have to say I'm impressed with how my car handled the trip - I figured at least one or two problems would arise.

It's really strange to think I was just having breakfast in Bozeman this morning and now I'm here. No clue what I'll do tomorrow. Laze?

Thanks for following along. I may continue this, self indulgent as it is. I hope you enjoyed it.

Cheers.

Cue the Gordon Lightfoot

Taken hours ago but still late all the same. I swear it stays lighter out later in MT.

Performance Art in the Plains

This picture probably doesn't do it justice, but from a slightly elevated level it appeared like Christo had taken up residence among the cattle and railroad tracks.

Heard in the McDonalds in Dickinson

"Dear, please don't make him scream."

*Mom to dad - and he just kept doing it anyway

BAM!

Somebody really got the state border marker right when splitting MT and ND. So right you don't even need a sign to know when you've crossed.

Sweeet

AM options

To answer your question, Kevin, the radio offers approximately four Country radio stations, an all-Elvis request, one Christian-themed station and some static-y talk radio.

...or it did up until ten minutes ago. Now it's all Fox News Radio. That's an odd monopoly, no?

My dad was awesome

I just vividly remembered Saturday afternoons at the Shuby house wherin my dad would move from project to project while sporting:

-a white tee
-cutoff jean shorts
-black socks and sandals

...most natural thing in the world. He had wicked good taste in music, but damned if he'd ever thought twice about what was going on his person on a weekend.

I'm gonna stew on that and smile for a bit.

Status update/Shout out

Screw you, Monson.

And yes,

I'm well aware of the irony. Keep quiet and plow through those rosary beads.

That's a new one

Not sure if you can see that, but it's a guitar neck poking out the driver's seat. On the meter of dangerous acts to perform while driving that's at least an eight. Because you can't adequately rock with one hand, driving or not.

Ugh...yeah.

I'm going to have to ask you not to read too much into that. I think you know who you are.

Yeesh.

Things I'm sure I forgot, one:

My point and click Nikon.

Well shucks.

Coffee beans and pit stops: the ride back home

Here's my view for the day. True to form, I'm exhausted and I've got 14 hours to go.

But man do I love a road trip. We'l see what ND has to offer today.

A formal thank you

So we're on the last few hours that I'm here. You twose are settling in and I'm on my inflata-bed clacking away on the keyboard. Isis is playing, and I'm wanting to convey some bidness.

Alright, so Fishey is still getting used to me. That's fine; damn thing shakes my hand - and if I've learned anything, it's that any creature civil enough to handshake is well worth the time to befriend it.
I still won't look her in the eye for more than one full second, but that's just human fear. She understands.

As for activities, rest assured every little thing I engaged in - from hikes in a cave with obnoxious gradeschoolers to my current clack-happy party - was exactly what I was looking for in a vacation. Simply engaging me in your daily lives in Bozeman has been joyful detatchment enough: I will surely patronize your establishment again.

Also, please know that my being unable to fulfill every activity I'd planned here is simply a tribute to just how irrelevant specifics are when one's with good friends - the incidentals are the point.

And then there's Mel herself. Now I know I'm not blood related but I do consider myself extended family. As such, my opinion on such things matter. Before meeting her I'd heard nothing but praise, and being that it was from trusted sources I believed it. Having now spent some time with her I have to say I approve - with mathematical exponentials. And you know I don't screw around when it comes to math.

For what it's worth, Mel, welcome to the gang. And thanks for praising my impressions, terrible as they are.

So that's pretty much it, brother. Thank you for your time, your petrol and your equally bad jokes. I hope you show up in my neck of the woods soon - Grain Belt is waiting.

Your pal,
Matthew

Me. In a cave.

You would have gotten a better picture of the caves, but the only one that worked out at all had me in it. You do what you can with what you have, you see.

It's a beaut

Currently en route to some caves surrounded by gorgeous weather. Neko on the player, jerky in my hand. Thinking how great it'd be to share this with the brothers.

Good Friday.

MT: 1 MN: 0

I can't remember ever being bitten by a mosquito last year in MN, and I was clean up until last week.

But since my trip to Yellowstone I've received quite the cluster of mozzie bites.

Is it weird I was a little happy about that?

FYI

Men's Room

In the event you were curious.

She's a buffalo (don't you know)

This guy right here, he loves Tex. So much so he loves a stuffed buffalo during Tex's set. And I've been given one of the best gifts of my trip thusfar.

We're all kind of a big deal.

It's past nine Mountain Time and the sun's still persisting. This is volume two of what makes Bozeman great.

Addendum

I was just informed last post was without cursive. Corrected. You may want to avert your eyes.

I haven't written in cursive in maybe nine years.

TMNT, sukka

I was so hoping that they had chalk available when I walked in. I was elated when it sat in waiting at my booth. I done drawed a ninja turtle like I thought I used to. Not too sure it worked out quite like I wanted.

"Phil Collins?! Who plays this sh*t?!!"

I do, sir.

I do.*

*I wasn't actually the chap who played Phil Collins

The only way I know how

Guess which balls are mine (Hint: I said 'balls')?

DAMMIT

ALL MY THINGS ARE COMING UNDONE

BY THIS TIME TOMORROW MY PANTS WILL BE SUSPENDED BY CAT 9 CABLE AND MY SOCKS WILL BE LEFTOVER CARPET SAMPLES

WTH MONTANA

My point in action.

Damned thing broke while simply hanging from my collar yesterday near the falls. Well, that's what $7 glasses get you.

To Montana:

Hey, I know you don't need my money. And you'd probably be happy if I left right now. But all I want to do is fish, and you're making it incredibly difficult for me to do so.

Just one day. One day! And I'm not even asking for the full 24 hours. Just maybe six or seven.

And yet, you still want way too much money.

You're going on my list, Montana Wildlife & Recreation. Right below the folks at Mount Rushmore.

Matt

Dear Bison Burger,

Lately like the rest of the world I've been tossing around the word "love" a little too much. This crutch has deteriorated its meaning beyond significance. It's in recognizing this that I would like to convey my intentions for you.

I've had a lot of burgers in my day, sure. Honestly, at any given moment I'd be in the presence of any number of styles. But the past few years I've found my taste for them all has dwindled - often to the point of complete disinterest.

Tonight, however, things have changed. And I believe it's for the better.

Now, I wasn't completely sure going in that this was what I wanted. My instincts told me I'd been down this road before - so many times - and as such expectations had diminished. I hope you don't take this personally; how could I have known otherwise?

Every moment I was with you became a sort of blinding bliss. Words spouted to my mouth but I wanted nothing to come betwixt you and I. The short time spent with you has sparked such pure desire - to create, to share, to simply be. It's something I haven't experienced in so long, I don't exactly know what to do next.

Please know my intentions are noble - I don't plan to jump into anything too hasty. My hope is to see you soon again, to spend as much time as I can with you before I leave. Maybe by then we can see how to make a long distance relationship work. I can tell you with no reservations already that I will do whatever it takes to make that happen.

Yours,
Matthew

White man salute to: Old Faithful!

Yeah, it wasn't mind-blowingly cool, but it *was* pretty damn cool. Of course the cold, overcast sky and rain didn't help my enthusiasm all that much.

On the way back to the car I caught a middle-aged woman with what looked like a box kite strapped to her back housing a pair of tiny dogs.

I would like to say to anyone who will listen to me, simply this:
Unequivocally, no dog has ever nor will ever care to witness a geyser erupt. This is fact and is not debatable.

Thumbs up!

Camera phones: making me look like a jackass tourist for almost 10 years

To top it off, these pics are only useful in my lowgrade travel communique.

This is one of about six different astonishing natural attractions Casey and Mel took me on today around Yellowstone. I can't decide which is my favorite, but the gorge and the clay bubbles were in the top two. I'm pretty sure the pics I took of them do no justice.

But at least I have plenty of pics of me in my do rag!

Now entertaining YNP

And I couldn't be happier...does it not look like I'm harvesting power from the sun? Who doesn't like that.

Cattle Drive!

Yep. Sure is.

I got nothing.