...and scene.

I've returned a little softer and a little tanner. And my car now smells like a sock.

Just got back with everything in tact and very few stops. Quite a breeze of a drive, really. I almost stopped at this fossil museum in the middle of ND but the thought of arriving in town later than this wasn't too appetizing. I have to say I'm impressed with how my car handled the trip - I figured at least one or two problems would arise.

It's really strange to think I was just having breakfast in Bozeman this morning and now I'm here. No clue what I'll do tomorrow. Laze?

Thanks for following along. I may continue this, self indulgent as it is. I hope you enjoyed it.

Cheers.

Cue the Gordon Lightfoot

Taken hours ago but still late all the same. I swear it stays lighter out later in MT.

Performance Art in the Plains

This picture probably doesn't do it justice, but from a slightly elevated level it appeared like Christo had taken up residence among the cattle and railroad tracks.

Heard in the McDonalds in Dickinson

"Dear, please don't make him scream."

*Mom to dad - and he just kept doing it anyway

BAM!

Somebody really got the state border marker right when splitting MT and ND. So right you don't even need a sign to know when you've crossed.

Sweeet

AM options

To answer your question, Kevin, the radio offers approximately four Country radio stations, an all-Elvis request, one Christian-themed station and some static-y talk radio.

...or it did up until ten minutes ago. Now it's all Fox News Radio. That's an odd monopoly, no?

My dad was awesome

I just vividly remembered Saturday afternoons at the Shuby house wherin my dad would move from project to project while sporting:

-a white tee
-cutoff jean shorts
-black socks and sandals

...most natural thing in the world. He had wicked good taste in music, but damned if he'd ever thought twice about what was going on his person on a weekend.

I'm gonna stew on that and smile for a bit.

Status update/Shout out

Screw you, Monson.

And yes,

I'm well aware of the irony. Keep quiet and plow through those rosary beads.

That's a new one

Not sure if you can see that, but it's a guitar neck poking out the driver's seat. On the meter of dangerous acts to perform while driving that's at least an eight. Because you can't adequately rock with one hand, driving or not.

Ugh...yeah.

I'm going to have to ask you not to read too much into that. I think you know who you are.

Yeesh.

Things I'm sure I forgot, one:

My point and click Nikon.

Well shucks.

Coffee beans and pit stops: the ride back home

Here's my view for the day. True to form, I'm exhausted and I've got 14 hours to go.

But man do I love a road trip. We'l see what ND has to offer today.

A formal thank you

So we're on the last few hours that I'm here. You twose are settling in and I'm on my inflata-bed clacking away on the keyboard. Isis is playing, and I'm wanting to convey some bidness.

Alright, so Fishey is still getting used to me. That's fine; damn thing shakes my hand - and if I've learned anything, it's that any creature civil enough to handshake is well worth the time to befriend it.
I still won't look her in the eye for more than one full second, but that's just human fear. She understands.

As for activities, rest assured every little thing I engaged in - from hikes in a cave with obnoxious gradeschoolers to my current clack-happy party - was exactly what I was looking for in a vacation. Simply engaging me in your daily lives in Bozeman has been joyful detatchment enough: I will surely patronize your establishment again.

Also, please know that my being unable to fulfill every activity I'd planned here is simply a tribute to just how irrelevant specifics are when one's with good friends - the incidentals are the point.

And then there's Mel herself. Now I know I'm not blood related but I do consider myself extended family. As such, my opinion on such things matter. Before meeting her I'd heard nothing but praise, and being that it was from trusted sources I believed it. Having now spent some time with her I have to say I approve - with mathematical exponentials. And you know I don't screw around when it comes to math.

For what it's worth, Mel, welcome to the gang. And thanks for praising my impressions, terrible as they are.

So that's pretty much it, brother. Thank you for your time, your petrol and your equally bad jokes. I hope you show up in my neck of the woods soon - Grain Belt is waiting.

Your pal,
Matthew

Me. In a cave.

You would have gotten a better picture of the caves, but the only one that worked out at all had me in it. You do what you can with what you have, you see.

It's a beaut

Currently en route to some caves surrounded by gorgeous weather. Neko on the player, jerky in my hand. Thinking how great it'd be to share this with the brothers.

Good Friday.

MT: 1 MN: 0

I can't remember ever being bitten by a mosquito last year in MN, and I was clean up until last week.

But since my trip to Yellowstone I've received quite the cluster of mozzie bites.

Is it weird I was a little happy about that?

FYI

Men's Room

In the event you were curious.

She's a buffalo (don't you know)

This guy right here, he loves Tex. So much so he loves a stuffed buffalo during Tex's set. And I've been given one of the best gifts of my trip thusfar.

We're all kind of a big deal.

It's past nine Mountain Time and the sun's still persisting. This is volume two of what makes Bozeman great.

Addendum

I was just informed last post was without cursive. Corrected. You may want to avert your eyes.

I haven't written in cursive in maybe nine years.

TMNT, sukka

I was so hoping that they had chalk available when I walked in. I was elated when it sat in waiting at my booth. I done drawed a ninja turtle like I thought I used to. Not too sure it worked out quite like I wanted.

"Phil Collins?! Who plays this sh*t?!!"

I do, sir.

I do.*

*I wasn't actually the chap who played Phil Collins

The only way I know how

Guess which balls are mine (Hint: I said 'balls')?

DAMMIT

ALL MY THINGS ARE COMING UNDONE

BY THIS TIME TOMORROW MY PANTS WILL BE SUSPENDED BY CAT 9 CABLE AND MY SOCKS WILL BE LEFTOVER CARPET SAMPLES

WTH MONTANA

My point in action.

Damned thing broke while simply hanging from my collar yesterday near the falls. Well, that's what $7 glasses get you.

To Montana:

Hey, I know you don't need my money. And you'd probably be happy if I left right now. But all I want to do is fish, and you're making it incredibly difficult for me to do so.

Just one day. One day! And I'm not even asking for the full 24 hours. Just maybe six or seven.

And yet, you still want way too much money.

You're going on my list, Montana Wildlife & Recreation. Right below the folks at Mount Rushmore.

Matt

Dear Bison Burger,

Lately like the rest of the world I've been tossing around the word "love" a little too much. This crutch has deteriorated its meaning beyond significance. It's in recognizing this that I would like to convey my intentions for you.

I've had a lot of burgers in my day, sure. Honestly, at any given moment I'd be in the presence of any number of styles. But the past few years I've found my taste for them all has dwindled - often to the point of complete disinterest.

Tonight, however, things have changed. And I believe it's for the better.

Now, I wasn't completely sure going in that this was what I wanted. My instincts told me I'd been down this road before - so many times - and as such expectations had diminished. I hope you don't take this personally; how could I have known otherwise?

Every moment I was with you became a sort of blinding bliss. Words spouted to my mouth but I wanted nothing to come betwixt you and I. The short time spent with you has sparked such pure desire - to create, to share, to simply be. It's something I haven't experienced in so long, I don't exactly know what to do next.

Please know my intentions are noble - I don't plan to jump into anything too hasty. My hope is to see you soon again, to spend as much time as I can with you before I leave. Maybe by then we can see how to make a long distance relationship work. I can tell you with no reservations already that I will do whatever it takes to make that happen.

Yours,
Matthew

White man salute to: Old Faithful!

Yeah, it wasn't mind-blowingly cool, but it *was* pretty damn cool. Of course the cold, overcast sky and rain didn't help my enthusiasm all that much.

On the way back to the car I caught a middle-aged woman with what looked like a box kite strapped to her back housing a pair of tiny dogs.

I would like to say to anyone who will listen to me, simply this:
Unequivocally, no dog has ever nor will ever care to witness a geyser erupt. This is fact and is not debatable.

Thumbs up!

Camera phones: making me look like a jackass tourist for almost 10 years

To top it off, these pics are only useful in my lowgrade travel communique.

This is one of about six different astonishing natural attractions Casey and Mel took me on today around Yellowstone. I can't decide which is my favorite, but the gorge and the clay bubbles were in the top two. I'm pretty sure the pics I took of them do no justice.

But at least I have plenty of pics of me in my do rag!

Now entertaining YNP

And I couldn't be happier...does it not look like I'm harvesting power from the sun? Who doesn't like that.

Cattle Drive!

Yep. Sure is.

I got nothing.

What a Hump Day awakening

Today's a trek to Yellowstone, which in theory I'm very excited with.
In theory.
In practice, however, I'm dragging my feet and wishing I could turn off the sun for a few more hours.

It's just difficult to drift back to dreamland after you've been woken up by foreign man hands stroking your leg followed by an off-falsetto greeting. Once that happens you're pretty much on guard for a good long while.

a roofer's farewell

Goodnight, you fumes of tar, you nails from tile-land...

Something wrong here...

Most appropriate title ever

There is little better than good cinema.

Gotta love a good film fest

Wanted to see this at Lagoon, didn't catch it, this works out even better.

The problem with homemade crystal meth

Actually this is just a picture of the building(s) that exploded a few months back here. It's curtained by felt, but my arm allowed to take a candid photo of the wreckage. I intend to visit this page later to inspect it better (again, I couldn't see a thing).

View from my seat

Not an example of my previous post, just giving you my virtual view. Like Lawnmower Man sans Pierce Brosnan, early adoption CGI and a lawnmower.

Actually this is nothing like Lawnmower Man. But rent it because the main character kind of looks like Yahoo Serious. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, may God have mercy on your soul.

Things that are wunnerful about Bozeman/MT: one

No building in Bozeman is more than a few stories tall, which I like to think is in recognition of how unparalleled the views from town are; there is no point in obscuring natural f*@king beauty.

My First Weapon

"Aw hell, I had to get it. She's so cute when she curses as them critter's do their death rattles...plus the color's so close, I only cleans it every third or fourth slaughter, so I'm saving even more! Triple win, brother!"

*directly above my head this morning*

-Asleep-

shuffle shuffle bam shuffle shuffle shuffle bam

"Ugh. Time for the earbuds." *plays white noise*

-whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite nooooooooooooooooooiiiiiiiiissssse-
Bam Bam BAM

BAM bam bam Bam bam bam

WHAM WHAM WHAM shuffle WHAM

shuffle WHAM WHAM


Ad infinitum.

oh man.

I done totally apologize for using the only 'clean' glass to imbibe some good old filtered water into my trashed internals. Mad apologies, yo.

Aww

That's just mean. Who does that at a bar in the middle of Montana?

Hiking the M (at least I got the shoes right)

Mel was gracious enough to take me up on a hike this afternoon then following it with some delicious local Cajun cuisine. That coupled with my hearty breakfast means I'm pretty sure I won't be eating for the rest of the day. I could go for another hike, though.

The weather report for the week suggests wall-to-wall thunderstorms, which kind of sucks as I'm primed for camping and fishing. The benefit, though, is it's a weather report so it's probably completely wrong. Today, for example, it rained lightly in the morning (thankfully - it staved off the 7am roofing fiasco) but cleared to mostly blue skies and direct sunlight for the hike (photos aside). Storm clouds held off for a few more hours until right after lunch outdoors.

I think I need a nap. Abrupt ending.

Tater

My new friend Tater. He's a panter.

Perfect

Just wish I had worn shorts.

FACT:

Boning up on my skillz

Casey has a banjo.

I can't even play a guitar.

It is remarkably easy, I've found, to pluck out the intro to The Battle of New Orleans.

So there's that.

Afternoon showers

I leave the house with a tee and blue jeans on, get about five blocks and turn around in favor of some shorts.

My meanderings lead me to one end of main street, so's I turn around towards the other way. Maybe I'll get some more coffee. Maybe I'll find a gallery.

What I wind up doing is neither; a bookstore shows up and I'm drawn in, where I proceed to find an old favorite and settle on a couch to enjoy.

However long later I'm calmer, happier and walking out with a new book.

It's started to drizzle out, and there's talk of thunderstorms.

Twelve hours in

...and every one of my bags have spewed all over my area.

Sorry, man.

Question posed

Do Montana women dig clean shaven men? Or does that make you stick out as an outsider?

Now I have to be careful. This shit is getting dangerously close to being Twitter-esque.

John Delorean may have loved coke, but look what we got out of it.

You don't see that every day.

Which is why today is going to rock.

I've got the afternoon and evening to screw around Main Street, catch up on some things and generally enjoy the scenery. I hope it continues to be as generous as this.

Reflecting at naptime

Finally arrived, I'm curled up with my regular pillow, a sleeping bag and an air mattress. It seems fitting, seeing as this is the setup I'm most familiar with when around Casey. It's a relief not to push the car any further, but I'm really excited (and surprised) to be here. The trip out here already has felt like a mini vacation, and accepting that the actual event itself is just beginning is impressive in itself.

Although it feels like time progresses at a pretty alarming rate these days, I'm happy to know that I can control the flow of certain things. And that makes me happy.

Good stuff to come. Goodnight.

Mission Accomplished

In celebration of my arriving in Bozeman (I followed the suggested speed limit of the interstate sign for the last two hours), here's another inspiring image from the presidential wax hall of fame.

Home stretch whining time

So I've got about 3.5 hours left of travel and I'm getting a little antsy. I did just arrive in MT, which is great because it's not WY. However, my legs ache, my lower back is getting weird and I can't think of anything I want to listen to that would be a good call. Add to that not a minute after it began raining I enter a patch of road with the warning - I kid you not - Slippery When Wet. The luck I have, I'm telling you.

I don't even know what I want to do when I arrive. Actually that's a lie. Do you remember in Batman when Vikki Vale wakes up in Wayne Manor and sees Bruce hanging from his ankels, rocking back and forth? That sounds so good right now.

Alright I'm done. But if you're reading this, feel free to call me because I'm running out of things to entertain me.

I'm in Wyoming

And this time, it's intentional.

THIS. IS. DEADWOOD.

Drove through here while getting back on track; it's a sweet little town, and I would have stopped and taken a better pic (I passed an old-timey prospector on a Schwinn; it was insane.), but like all small towns in the middle of nowhere, the only thing it looked like to do there was drink.

So I kept on. I'll make it up next time.

Sporradic Storms

DETOUR

It's hard for me to pass up a winery when traveling. Particularly when they advertise a rhubarb infused drink (it wasn't very good).

Grand humor

Mount Rushmore: $10 cash
Presidential Wax Museum: Free
That I can walk around a gallery of wax statues at my leisure for nothing, but in order to get yards closer to a rock sculpture which is visible virtually anywhere I must pay in cash or gtfo: Priceless

Words do no justice in describing just how creepy this display was. But it was excellent anyway. You should see the Gore/Bush display: hilarious.

"Cash Only"

30 mins out of my way, and this is the best view I can get. Because I use credit cards.

National Treasure indeed.

The 'T' is for 'Trying too hard'

I bet you're looking at this and wondering, "The Hell, Matt, in what scenario is an animatronic T-Rex disappointing?"

To that I say "You weren't there so quit judging how I live my life."


I was expecting a The Wizard/Pee Wee's Big Adventure-style dinosaur. What I got was Chuck-E-Cheese-style sadness.

This awkward beast had a sign below it stating: "Warning! T-Rex feeds every 12 minutes". I must have arrived eleven minutes too early because for what seemed like an eternity she looked to be deep in the throws of a diazepam/vodka fueled fit. Every few moments she'd lazily raise her head - eyes half-mast - and gaze around (as if to get a grasp of just what in the hell was going on). The head lowers and she's out again. The kids around started yelling at her to eat them, and I began to feel sad for everyone involved. Eventually loud noises erupted and she roared out as if to claim her freedom back from substance abuse. Red lights flash and that's about it.


I wanted to climb inside a 13 foot Tyrannosaurus and yell "California"!

Not today.

T-Rex: Let down. Jackelope: Win.

Cheap glasses, cheaper coffee

I've arrived in Wall, SD and have subsequently wandered into Wall Drug (now I know all those bumper stickers aren't talking to *me* anymore, so suck it).

It's just like I should have assumed - a big old drug store style place. Still haven't ventured to the backyard for the T-Rex attraction, but I think they wasted money on all those damn bill boards. The entire state advertises this place as much as I-35 beats pro-life into your line of vision. It elevated my expectations to where they couldn't be met. I'll look for a suggestion box on my way out.

So the glasses. I lose sunglasses like LOST loses my interest - often. So it has become a pasttime that when I travel, I obtain a new pair. I give these maybe three weeks.

The coffee, it is good. Maybe $.15 good.

Stupid state parks

All needing money to provide their services.

Just another day...

...feeding my prairie friends. This guy's name is Chester.

It is now, anyway.